actually i planned to post this in the beginning of December,
and i postponned
postponned
postponned
till i heard the news about Joghyun Shinee
and decided to make a room to share about it too in this post
ya mohon maaf aja kalo gak nyambung lol
feel free to skip fangirling thing
tapi jgn lupa liat paragraf akhir lol
jadi, to completed my sadness this last month, Jonghyun Shinee died.
gue gapernah sesuka sampe ngefans dan jadi fandom mereka sebenernya.
tapi gue inget banget, exactly a year ago, gue kepoin shinee gara2 Damar WQWQ nerbener ni anak.
nonton weekly idol, dengerin sealbum 1of1 because its freaking gooodd, nonton segala behind because theyre freaking hilarious, gue gak suka tapi theyre unique lol jadi ya nikmatin aja.
well, pernah jadi salah satu yang mengisi hari-hari gue, it is something tho.
dan gue pernah bilang somehow "gue paling suka Jonghyun masa" simplyy because he's underated lol tapi abis itu ya ganti2 bias akhirnya, ya tapi idk he take some spot there somehow.
berita meninggalnya tuh hari Senin pas bgt gue lagi nginep, di Nangor---iya kuliah di bandung ujian di nangor, makes me turning back bandung nangor, kzl wk--- pas besoknya mau UAS a freaking CRP dan BHP yang wallahualam terserah mood dokternya mau ngapain, bareng ajeng rana sarjan dan beberapa manusia lagi, dan iya ambyar. setidak fokus itu karena ujung-ujungnya kita updating berita jonghyun tuh sesorean diselingi baca slide. dan yeah well im pretty messed up, sedang tercecer-cecer pikirannya trs gue gak fokus wq.
singkatnya setelah setelah peruasan crp&bhp kelar, lucky me, gue OSCE Rabu, which is besoknya, dan iya UAS CRP sampe jam 3-set4, balik bandung nyampe jam set.5. halo ini h-12 jam osce loh pak buk. secapek itu. sepanik itu. sehelpless itu. emang gabisa ngapa-ngapain sih selain, yauwes usaha yang bisa gue lakuin juga nyiapin buat osce gitu. (and btw, yg gak tau osce, iya gue harus ngehapal about 15 station :>) Nyampe kamar, gue ambyar wq.
gue nangis lol
idk why, gue nangis.
well, to make it sense, i told people karena nangisin jonghyun wq
it is make sense tho
abis baca suicide notenya dia, sedih aja gitu
well iya a freaking Jonghyun took a suicide dude
& somehow gue ngerasa like, i feel u gitu ke dia baca suratnya hue
semua lagunya juga emang kasih sign gitu
seeing how depressed he is dan how he tries to make others to be not like him
he care about others
but he feels like he dont have one
yha the one who smile the most, is having pain the most ceunah
sometimes, i kinda put my self in that place si heu
gue patut gak sih nulis gini well.
terus yang lucu adalah, gue lagi bosen dan abis nangis dan capek, ke kamar wigmar berniat untuk mencari motivasi dan melanjutkan belajar, nyampe kamar dia... dia lagi nangis LOL. terus in the end,
kita
nangis
bareng.
terus nangis jelek faq wkwk
HAHAHAHA FREAK BGT ASTAGA.
i cry in front of someone that i comfortable tho hihi
so yha
felt honored if i cry in front of you
for the past week (or a month?), its been a though week for me
kalau di pelajaran Family Medicine semester ini, we learnt how to manage someone in the stages of dying, because its doctor job to... handle them and making sure they're died nicely. so there are 5 stages:
1. denial
2. anger
3. bargaining
4. depression
5. acceptance
gak semua orang ngelewatin tahap yang sama, katanya.
ada yang 1-2-3 lalu langsung 5 tanpa ada fase ke 4
ada yang terjebak di fase 4
well, emang beda-beda di setiap individu, setiap orang beda
gue dimana? probably 5. or 3? or 4?
wqwq
gue sampe suka mikir.. yaAllah jangan sampe depresi gilz
trs gue dengan jonghyun meninggal gara-gara depresi kan
naudzubillahminzalik yaAllah
setelah apa yang gue lewati,
this stages is aint just about dying thing.
its about "how people try to handle a bad news" stages thing :))
is it easy? no
never
lyke duh?
adapting is not easy
im not always ready
and making myself ready is not simple dude
well ya especially, im not that easy to trust people
it is never easy for me
but when i do i ended up believing one
i am lefted
and feels like... its so wrong to finally trust someone
is it my fault to take a longer time?
or is it my fault to finally believing one?
yes lucky me ada orang yang mau menampung gue lol
to making me still on sense wqwq sumpah gue kesenggol dikit fragile lah
walaupun selalu kelintas di pikiran gue
duh gue ngebebanin orang bgt
pls bgt tal they have a hard time too
gaenakan gue
maafin gue huhu
kalian tidak tau seberapa gue amat bersyukur punya kalian,
pi, ka, wig, put, my, de thankz
atas segala encouragingnya
:((
why i always ending the year before sooca and ended it pathetically tho LOLOL
gapernah sih emang gak stress kalo lagi uas mah
dan iya gapernah gak merasa lonely gt #ea
and thats probably the reason why i ended up coming here every year or coming back to twitter
because
just because lol.
cerita ke temen2 deket gue probably help me a lot, tp kadang ya itu gue mikir
mereka juga sooca gilak
mereka jg stress
mereka jg capek
mereka jg.. juga capek aja
kayaknya gara-gara itu its always easier kalo gue bacot sendiri disini
well
ya
emang kadang butuh respon balik
or even just a "goodluck"
even a "you've done a great job,tal"
it probably will make everything sense.
2017 served me a very very very nice journey, out of my expectation actually.
awal masuk tahun ini tuh
hoping to jumped up to september to finally watched a concert for the first time
it was probably the best month this year hihi
with some sparks that happened, that i surely never thought would happened.
lewatin kkn, thanks god ive done trough it
& realizing how fun&beautiful is making new friends diluar per-FKan, sumpah
a freaking surprise birthday dengan standing bannernya, yang jumbo pisan
melewati sebuah step perkuliahan, a freaking skripsi dan sidang akhir
-- and realizing how lovely and thoughtful of people by giving me roses. sumpah. ini chessy abis sih. tapi knowing someone really thought of you terus ngasih bunga pas sidang tuh seenggaknya bikin gue merasa belong to somewhere.. i guess--
dipercayain jadi koor publikasi-dokum-desain buat syukwis,
dan ada aja yg nyalonin gue jd pj batchbook, walaupun w tolak wqwq
yaAllah senang masih dipercaya orang-orang sebenernya, gue kira udh byebye psd
((tapi mohon maaf bapak po-nya beban banget lol, gadeng yog))
tahun 4 yang masyaAllah lagi diuji bgt rasanya Proxima :( lagi super jadi kambing hitam
lyke yaAllah ada aja masalah. tahun ini proxima lagi dizholimi bgt
semoga dizholiminya ini bikin kita jadi sukses sampe kelar ya prox :(( sad
highlight tahun ini emang jatuh kepada movie buddy dan dimsum buddy ku hihi
how grateful i am to be someone place to talk to, sumpah, i dont even mind
well i dont even mind if i have to do it again tho
yaAllah kalo dipikirin lagi juga emangmanis cukup fana bener itu, im grateful enough
trs pgn lg wq
hoping you the greatest kok <3
gatau sih gue keliatannya suka lebay bgt kalo ada yg perhatiin gue,
and yes probably myself fault kalo gue suka merasa left out, karena merasa gak diperhatiin
karena in the end emang yang selalu gue bikin gue mikir adalah
"am i belong to someone? am i belong to somewhere?"
everytime i got attached to something or someone.
ini gak cuma melulu tentang loveydovey thing kok hue
semakin tua makin gede making dewasa
its all about how you feel comfortable.
did u have someone that making u feel like it ya gaksi
padahal point dari pertemanan dan having someone is, ikhlas.
lol well thanks yud gue numpang liat di tumblr lo
tapi iya itu exactly yang gue pikirkan.
yang jadi some silver lining gue for some longlong time
"Ikhlas kasih apa yang kita punya, syukuri keberadaan mereka dan tidak mengharapkan respon balik yang sama... setiap orang berhak menjalani hidupnya masing-masing"
gue masih belajar jg buat gak terlalu posesif
u just cant easily did it, lol it comes naturally apalagi sama sesuatu yang lo kira punya lo
fully
but actually not jg gitu kan
semua orang punya jalan masing-masing
-----------------------------------
sumpah ini isi postnya super tidak nyambung dan random pisan
cuma butuh keluarin unek2 dan gabisa menyambungkan dan merangkaiya menjadi beberapa paragraf yang nyambung wq like anyone care tho
ya bersyukur kalo ada yg mampir dan liat
u dont have to feel guilty
because its not anyone faults
its not like u mean it
you all have done your great job kok
semangat kalian
semangat kamu
semangat aku
hayuk mau sooca dulu semoga lancar dan ya seperti doadoa biasa mau sooca,
dapet case yang gue kuasai, dosen penguji yang baik dan hasil yang memuaskan.
masi panjang deng
masi ada pracoass
coass
wisuda
syukwis
sumdok
ukdi
yaAllah masih panjang yha wqwq
semoga kuat
semoga dikuatkan
semoga ada yg menguatkan hihi
bole gak doanya buat 2018, its gonna be another rough year,
boleh gak aku ada yg nemenin biar seenggaknya enteng dikit? HIHI
semoga lancar dan bahagia dan sabar dan sukses sampai another moremore year
PS: and yes tal (and anyone who read this),고생했어. pls be happy & make others happy too.
think about others but never forget yourself :)
postponned
postponned
till i heard the news about Joghyun Shinee
and decided to make a room to share about it too in this post
ya mohon maaf aja kalo gak nyambung lol
feel free to skip fangirling thing
tapi jgn lupa liat paragraf akhir lol
jadi, to completed my sadness this last month, Jonghyun Shinee died.
gue gapernah sesuka sampe ngefans dan jadi fandom mereka sebenernya.
tapi gue inget banget, exactly a year ago, gue kepoin shinee gara2 Damar WQWQ nerbener ni anak.
nonton weekly idol, dengerin sealbum 1of1 because its freaking gooodd, nonton segala behind because theyre freaking hilarious, gue gak suka tapi theyre unique lol jadi ya nikmatin aja.
well, pernah jadi salah satu yang mengisi hari-hari gue, it is something tho.
dan gue pernah bilang somehow "gue paling suka Jonghyun masa" simplyy because he's underated lol tapi abis itu ya ganti2 bias akhirnya, ya tapi idk he take some spot there somehow.
berita meninggalnya tuh hari Senin pas bgt gue lagi nginep, di Nangor---iya kuliah di bandung ujian di nangor, makes me turning back bandung nangor, kzl wk--- pas besoknya mau UAS a freaking CRP dan BHP yang wallahualam terserah mood dokternya mau ngapain, bareng ajeng rana sarjan dan beberapa manusia lagi, dan iya ambyar. setidak fokus itu karena ujung-ujungnya kita updating berita jonghyun tuh sesorean diselingi baca slide. dan yeah well im pretty messed up, sedang tercecer-cecer pikirannya trs gue gak fokus wq.
singkatnya setelah setelah peruasan crp&bhp kelar, lucky me, gue OSCE Rabu, which is besoknya, dan iya UAS CRP sampe jam 3-set4, balik bandung nyampe jam set.5. halo ini h-12 jam osce loh pak buk. secapek itu. sepanik itu. sehelpless itu. emang gabisa ngapa-ngapain sih selain, yauwes usaha yang bisa gue lakuin juga nyiapin buat osce gitu. (and btw, yg gak tau osce, iya gue harus ngehapal about 15 station :>) Nyampe kamar, gue ambyar wq.
gue nangis lol
idk why, gue nangis.
well, to make it sense, i told people karena nangisin jonghyun wq
it is make sense tho
abis baca suicide notenya dia, sedih aja gitu
well iya a freaking Jonghyun took a suicide dude
& somehow gue ngerasa like, i feel u gitu ke dia baca suratnya hue
semua lagunya juga emang kasih sign gitu
seeing how depressed he is dan how he tries to make others to be not like him
he care about others
but he feels like he dont have one
yha the one who smile the most, is having pain the most ceunah
sometimes, i kinda put my self in that place si heu
gue patut gak sih nulis gini well.
terus yang lucu adalah, gue lagi bosen dan abis nangis dan capek, ke kamar wigmar berniat untuk mencari motivasi dan melanjutkan belajar, nyampe kamar dia... dia lagi nangis LOL. terus in the end,
kita
nangis
bareng.
terus nangis jelek faq wkwk
HAHAHAHA FREAK BGT ASTAGA.
i cry in front of someone that i comfortable tho hihi
so yha
felt honored if i cry in front of you
for the past week (or a month?), its been a though week for me
kalau di pelajaran Family Medicine semester ini, we learnt how to manage someone in the stages of dying, because its doctor job to... handle them and making sure they're died nicely. so there are 5 stages:
1. denial
2. anger
3. bargaining
4. depression
5. acceptance
gak semua orang ngelewatin tahap yang sama, katanya.
ada yang 1-2-3 lalu langsung 5 tanpa ada fase ke 4
ada yang terjebak di fase 4
well, emang beda-beda di setiap individu, setiap orang beda
gue dimana? probably 5. or 3? or 4?
wqwq
gue sampe suka mikir.. yaAllah jangan sampe depresi gilz
trs gue dengan jonghyun meninggal gara-gara depresi kan
naudzubillahminzalik yaAllah
setelah apa yang gue lewati,
this stages is aint just about dying thing.
its about "how people try to handle a bad news" stages thing :))
is it easy? no
never
lyke duh?
adapting is not easy
im not always ready
and making myself ready is not simple dude
well ya especially, im not that easy to trust people
it is never easy for me
but when i do i ended up believing one
i am lefted
and feels like... its so wrong to finally trust someone
is it my fault to take a longer time?
or is it my fault to finally believing one?
yes lucky me ada orang yang mau menampung gue lol
to making me still on sense wqwq sumpah gue kesenggol dikit fragile lah
walaupun selalu kelintas di pikiran gue
duh gue ngebebanin orang bgt
pls bgt tal they have a hard time too
gaenakan gue
maafin gue huhu
kalian tidak tau seberapa gue amat bersyukur punya kalian,
pi, ka, wig, put, my, de thankz
atas segala encouragingnya
:((
why i always ending the year before sooca and ended it pathetically tho LOLOL
gapernah sih emang gak stress kalo lagi uas mah
dan iya gapernah gak merasa lonely gt #ea
and thats probably the reason why i ended up coming here every year or coming back to twitter
because
just because lol.
cerita ke temen2 deket gue probably help me a lot, tp kadang ya itu gue mikir
mereka juga sooca gilak
mereka jg stress
mereka jg capek
mereka jg.. juga capek aja
kayaknya gara-gara itu its always easier kalo gue bacot sendiri disini
well
ya
emang kadang butuh respon balik
or even just a "goodluck"
even a "you've done a great job,tal"
it probably will make everything sense.
2017 served me a very very very nice journey, out of my expectation actually.
awal masuk tahun ini tuh
hoping to jumped up to september to finally watched a concert for the first time
it was probably the best month this year hihi
with some sparks that happened, that i surely never thought would happened.
lewatin kkn, thanks god ive done trough it
& realizing how fun&beautiful is making new friends diluar per-FKan, sumpah
a freaking surprise birthday dengan standing bannernya, yang jumbo pisan
melewati sebuah step perkuliahan, a freaking skripsi dan sidang akhir
-- and realizing how lovely and thoughtful of people by giving me roses. sumpah. ini chessy abis sih. tapi knowing someone really thought of you terus ngasih bunga pas sidang tuh seenggaknya bikin gue merasa belong to somewhere.. i guess--
dipercayain jadi koor publikasi-dokum-desain buat syukwis,
dan ada aja yg nyalonin gue jd pj batchbook, walaupun w tolak wqwq
yaAllah senang masih dipercaya orang-orang sebenernya, gue kira udh byebye psd
((tapi mohon maaf bapak po-nya beban banget lol, gadeng yog))
tahun 4 yang masyaAllah lagi diuji bgt rasanya Proxima :( lagi super jadi kambing hitam
lyke yaAllah ada aja masalah. tahun ini proxima lagi dizholimi bgt
semoga dizholiminya ini bikin kita jadi sukses sampe kelar ya prox :(( sad
highlight tahun ini emang jatuh kepada movie buddy dan dimsum buddy ku hihi
how grateful i am to be someone place to talk to, sumpah, i dont even mind
well i dont even mind if i have to do it again tho
yaAllah kalo dipikirin lagi juga emang
hoping you the greatest kok <3
gatau sih gue keliatannya suka lebay bgt kalo ada yg perhatiin gue,
and yes probably myself fault kalo gue suka merasa left out, karena merasa gak diperhatiin
karena in the end emang yang selalu gue bikin gue mikir adalah
"am i belong to someone? am i belong to somewhere?"
everytime i got attached to something or someone.
ini gak cuma melulu tentang loveydovey thing kok hue
semakin tua makin gede making dewasa
its all about how you feel comfortable.
did u have someone that making u feel like it ya gaksi
padahal point dari pertemanan dan having someone is, ikhlas.
lol well thanks yud gue numpang liat di tumblr lo
tapi iya itu exactly yang gue pikirkan.
yang jadi some silver lining gue for some longlong time
"Ikhlas kasih apa yang kita punya, syukuri keberadaan mereka dan tidak mengharapkan respon balik yang sama... setiap orang berhak menjalani hidupnya masing-masing"
gue masih belajar jg buat gak terlalu posesif
u just cant easily did it, lol it comes naturally apalagi sama sesuatu yang lo kira punya lo
fully
but actually not jg gitu kan
semua orang punya jalan masing-masing
-----------------------------------
sumpah ini isi postnya super tidak nyambung dan random pisan
cuma butuh keluarin unek2 dan gabisa menyambungkan dan merangkaiya menjadi beberapa paragraf yang nyambung wq like anyone care tho
ya bersyukur kalo ada yg mampir dan liat
u dont have to feel guilty
because its not anyone faults
its not like u mean it
you all have done your great job kok
semangat kalian
semangat kamu
semangat aku
hayuk mau sooca dulu semoga lancar dan ya seperti doadoa biasa mau sooca,
dapet case yang gue kuasai, dosen penguji yang baik dan hasil yang memuaskan.
masi panjang deng
masi ada pracoass
coass
wisuda
syukwis
sumdok
ukdi
yaAllah masih panjang yha wqwq
semoga kuat
semoga dikuatkan
semoga ada yg menguatkan hihi
bole gak doanya buat 2018, its gonna be another rough year,
boleh gak aku ada yg nemenin biar seenggaknya enteng dikit? HIHI
semoga lancar dan bahagia dan sabar dan sukses sampai another moremore year
PS: and yes tal (and anyone who read this),고생했어. pls be happy & make others happy too.
think about others but never forget yourself :)
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